9 Everyday Habits That Build a Stronger Marriage

holding hands

Marriages aren’t always easy, but they’re always worth it. Putting time, love and effort into your marriage are great stepping stones to a happy, long-lasting relationship. The habits you develop can have a huge impact on what kind of marriage you’re going to have. When you think of developing good habits, you probably think of more common pursuits like drinking more water, exercising or turning off electronics one hour before bed. The truth is, there are dozens of healthy habits that you could take up each day to benefit both the happiness of you and your partner.

Successful marriages don’t work out simply because they had no challenges; they work out because each partner develops healthy habits that build a strong marriage that is fun, fulfilling, respectful and loving.

Here are 9 everyday habits that build a strong marriage:

1. Talk about everything.

It goes without saying that communication is important in a marriage, but what kind of communication is important? The truth is, all of it. In many ways, your spouse should also be your best friend. This means you’ll want to share with them the details of your day, the goings-on at work, funny stories you overheard at the coffee shop and anything else that is on your mind. It is equally important to talk about bigger topics like your goals, your hopes and plans for the future and any stresses or happiness that you are feeling.

Aim for talking to your partner every single day in order to keep a two-way connection for conversation open at all times.

2. Make intimacy a priority.

Have an open and honest discussion about what you need to be physically and emotionally intimate with one another. Sex, in particular, is one of the best ways in which married partners can connect emotionally, but it can often come with weighted expectations and be effected by different life experiences. Create a safe place for discussing this with your spouse.


3. Go tech-free.

Creating everyday habits that build a strong marriage largely revolves around making your partner feel like a priority in your life. Nothing is going to zap that feeling faster than you checking a text or social media while your partner is trying to talk to you. Encourage a one hour tech-free zone during the day to ensure that you and your partner have each other’s undivided attention.

4. Kiss every single day.

Don’t let kissing fall to the wayside! Remember when you were first dating and you felt like you could kiss for hours on end? Studies show that kissing and physical touch, like holding hands, has a strong impact on our romantic connections. You will feel closer emotionally to your partner when you receive regular physical contact from them. Shower your partner with kisses on a daily basis to remind them how much you love them.

5. Consult one another.

A marriage is a true partnership. This means you wouldn’t make big decisions without consulting your spouse. Choices about family care, religion, job opportunities and travel should never be made without conferring with one another. This healthy habit of going to one another for advice or counsel shows your partner that their opinion is valued, respected and that they, too, have a say in your family matters.

6. Express gratitude.

One of the biggest insecurities couples have over many years together is feeling unappreciated. It’s this feeling that can often lead many to seek a lover or partner outside the marriage. Develop a healthy habit for a strong marriage by expressing your gratitude for your partner on a regular basis. This doesn’t mean you need to flood your partner’s ears with endless compliments just to make them feel better. Try expressing your gratitude weekly and with sincerity.

Compliment your partner on their healthy life choices, their great qualities in compassion, love, patience and trust. Does your husband take out the garbage every week while you’re still warm in your bed? Does your wife make you breakfast every single morning, even though she still has to get the kids to school and head to work herself? Show your appreciation for how they take care of you and your family; look for small things to acknowledge that will make them feel truly valued.

Successful marriages don’t work out simply because they had no challenges; they work out because each partner develops healthy habits …

7. Listen.

Talking is an important part of a healthy marriage and so is listening. It’ll do your partner no good to pour their heart out to you about a problem, or to share a funny story with you if you have no reaction. Whether your partner is talking about their day or expressing an issue they have in the relationship, don’t rush to interrupt them or get defensive. Let them voice their concern and reassure them that you are listening and are attentive.

beach walks

8. Date.

Making time for dating and romance is a huge everyday habit that builds a strong marriage. Making time for date night will show your partner that they are a priority. Dating also gives you the opportunity to explore one another without distractions from work or family responsibilities and remind you why you fell in love in the first place.

Date nights don’t have to be expensive experiences, either. Something as simple as taking the time to go watch the sunset, having a picnic at the local park or heading out to the beach are all great dating options.

9. Reminisce.

When you’ve been together for 10 months or 10 years, reminiscing is a great habit to form together. Relive happy memories such as stories from when you were first dating, first married, what you thought on your wedding day, great vacations you’ve had or about the birth of your children.

This is a great way to relive these times together through your spouse’s eyes. Memories are also great to reflect on if you are going through a hard time. Hard times don’t last unless you let them. Happy memories are forever.

What’s the best marriage advice you’ve been given or heard?

Images via Tess Comrie

Malini Bhatia is the founder of Marriage.com, a website dedicated to providing value in every marriage. Marriage.com provides resources, information and a community that supports healthy, happy marriages. Malini has global experience in international management and communications, and lives in Los Angeles with her husband of 11 years and two daughters.

  • Amber July 18, 2017

    Well, I’m not married, but what about long distance relationships or marriages? At least two of these you’d not be able to do consistently.

  • Hannah May 23, 2017

    Expressing gratitude is so important! it is easy too feel unappreciated, especially when you have too fill parenting roles as well. Nothing fosters Love like gratitude!

  • Saphia Louise May 18, 2017

    This is so necessary!! We have to always remember these things!

    Saphia Louise | Lifestyle & Faith

  • Bill May 13, 2017

    Its what the Bible says about marriage. A Man must love his wife and a woman must respect her husband. But criticism is a destroyer of a man’s confidence and the opposite of respect. A man will love his wife without end if she will only build him up. And she can build him up in countless ways. She can tell him that she likes the way he stands, the way he talks softly, his gentleness, his strength, his reasoning, his love for her, his compassion and his gratitude. The media controlled by the leftist and communist infiltrators is telling people lies that women are superior to men in every way. Nothing could be further from the truth. And corporations are filling all positions with women. As a result of this, women are coming down with MS, Fibromyalgia, and Bipolar Disorder. Women are stressed out driving to/from work and while at work. Men are generally not stressed and can adjust to stress much better. Men think mostly logically and slightly emotionally but women think mostly emotionally and slightly logically. There are wide ranging results of this and leftists like to build a case around an anomaly because they want to destroy marriages, the family and men.

    • C J Kilgour May 22, 2017

      Being at work and driving to and from is not what stresses women out. It is working full time and being expected to run the household which is a full time job in it’s self. If a couple decide for the wife to take on work then the husband needs to take on some of the responsibility of running the home.
      As for your comments that women are mostly emotional and only slightly logical that is really out of date. Men and women have skills that complement each other. When a company has a board with both men and women in a balanced number on it will be more successful long term because it will not have the blind spots that comes from the bias associated with a male only board.

      • Master July 4, 2017

        How long have you been married? To the same spose if I may clarify.

    • Noel May 23, 2017

      A man must not only love his wife, but love her as christ loved the church. Christ died for the church, men are called to love selflessly and woman are only too submit to their husbands when their husbands are submitted to God. Criticism destroys both men and women. Men and women are equals, and can both compliment each others strength and weaknesses. Women are stressed b/c they are expected too work full time jobs, take children too daycare, make meals for the family, wash everyones laundry, and work overtime in their marriages. While men are only expected too work and come home. Both Men and women are emotional and logical, and I will add that women are natural multi-taskers, which makes them excellent for management and leadership positions. Society as a whole and individuals need to have healthier views of Men and Women and their roles. Healthier perspectives of the opposite genders will contribute too healthier marriages and relationships.

  • Ooh, this is good to keep in mind for the future. Most of these things definitely expand to other types of relationships too, not just romantic ones!

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog