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7 Bad Public Speaking Habits That Immediately Destroy Your Likability

How well you influence others is as much about you don't say as what you do.
CREDIT: Getty Images

Having the best ideas in the world won't help you if no one wants to listen.

Speaker and author Julian Treasure gave a popular TED Talk in 2014 that explained how anyone can speak effectively, whether in a conversation or in front of a crowd.

How well you influence others, he said, is as much about you do say as what you don't.

Here are the bad habits you need to avoid if you want people to listen to you, which Treasure calls the "seven deadly sins of speaking."

1. Gossiping

Speaking badly of somebody else seems to have a chain reaction, Treasure said.

If you engage in gossip, you can give yourself a bad reputation and inspire others to start gossiping about you. 

2. Judging

If you fill your conversations with judgments of others, you're making the person you're speaking with self-conscious of being judged themselves, Treasure said.

They'll be afraid to open up to you and may shut down completely.

3. Being negative

Treasure said that his mother, in her latter years, became incredibly negative--she would even find the disappointment in arbitrary things like what day it happened to be. Treasure would force himself to stop listening as he spent time with her.

Choosing to be optimistic will simply make you more enjoyable to talk to, he said. Plus,it's better for your health.

4. Complaining

Everyone is dealing with challenges, so not everyone needs to know about yours.

Related to focusing on the darker side of life is complaining, which easily becomes a habit.

Before you know it, Treasure said, you'll be known as the person who complains about the weather, the news, work, and everything else. It's what he calls "viral misery."

5. Making excuses

It doesn't take long for others to note how you pass responsibility.

Some people have a "blamethrower," Treasure said, putting the blame on anybody and anything except themselves when met with failure.

While others may let the occasional excuse slide, a constant stream of them reveals that you do not take responsibility for your actions.

6. Exaggerating

Exaggeration "demeans our language," Treasure says.

Adding dramatic flair is essentially a form of lying, and "we don't want to listen to people we know are lying to us." 

7. Being dogmatic

It's dangerous when opinions and facts become confused.

Nobody wants to be bombarded with opinions stated as if they were true.

This story first appeared on Business Insider

Published on: Mar 31, 2016